Melting into the soil

I apologize again for the inactivity here. 

  I know it's now summer. And when it's summertime, don't you just miss the cold cozy days sometimes? snuggling in your favorite sweater, drinking a cup of hot chocolate with its steam slowly hovering in front of your face and just the little chilly feeling and of course no more sweat to ruin your makeup of the day!

   The winter i miss the most is the after-snow days, when it isn't snowing but the snow hasn't melted away yet. I love the serenity of that. Not too crazy with the blizzard, everything's quiet and white. With that little blanket of snow covering the ground. Don't you just love it?

  I remember one day in winter, the snow storm has gone and the temperature actually went up a little. So, i, like a crazy teenager, wore a black skirt out to the city, without any leggings underneath. It was all fine until night came along. I stepped out of the LIRR train and walked to the bus station in my pair of snow boots.


Skirts and snow boots... what a combination right? I know. When the night has come. the chilliness actually rolled in. Literally, rolling into my skirt! Buses sometimes come right after the train's arrival, but sometimes, they come way early and guess what, we have to wait for like half an hour for another bus. That's actually pretty quick already. Let's not talk about to wait for a train for an hour!


   I hid myself inside the bus waiting area, which actually isn't really shielded and I was trying to keep myself warm by walking around.

    At last, the bus came and several students, like me, were lining up for the bus, trying to get away from the cold. From what i can recall in my memory bank, a black skin- color girl, with probably an Afro hair gestured me to go before her. She said, "You can go first. You are wearing a skirt!"  I turned to smile at her foolishly because i know right? What a brilliant wardrobe choice to go for. So i went before her and that little gesture and care still sticks to my mind today like a blanket of snow melting into the soil.

   Do you have any memory of a small kind act of others that still stick to your mind for a long time?


  

Tip me a little good

As spring starts to roll around, the gloomy weather also follows its way in. And that really encounters  for the cause of a lot of sleeping in and low productivity. Yes, i blame you weather. Good news is, I'm back with this little blog post that i'm sure most of you have missed me a lot. Right?

  Talking about how a new season steps its foot in makes me reminisce the time I step my cold feet in the JFK airport in New York. Having no free WIFI is one of the great welcome i had when i stepped out of the plane. JFK is a big airport but since it's big, it has many divisions, and i think the division i was in was a small one, so lining up to get our passport checked and the little immigration stamp, making your passport looks like a traveler's collection was a mixed feeling.

  Once the staff at the counter stamp his chop chop on my passport, it was like a "welcome to the U.S, you're officially in the border now." moment. The staff did say welcome even though he kept his strict face all along.

    Things i hate about this country is you have to pay for almost everything and tip everyone. In my country, the baggage trolley is always free and you can take as many as you want. (only if you want that many). As soon as i got my two luggage, I have to pay i guess $4 dollars to hire that trolley for a short moment. Many have chosen to opt out for this option but i couldn't afford to push two luggage by myself that is of different heights. Although i have been told I have to pay for the trolley, still, i don't think it is reasonable to pay such a big amount to just use something that the airport is supposed to provide you with.

     To get to where I live, i have previously booked a shuttle. On its website, it says up to 10 people can fit in it so i expect the shuttle will go around a pick up people. So i waited in the waiting area in the airport next to the parking lot and crossed my fingers that the shuttle will arrive. Because i would not know what to do if it didnt arrived. I gave my receipt to the little counter of the shuttle company and the lady asked me to wait around and would call me when someone was going to pick me up.



   It was a small space with two little coffee shops and some stands of tourist information. I picked up some maps and shows recommendation cards for myself and dug them into my bag. It was 6 a.m in the morning, feeling hungry, i thought it'd be good to grab myself some breakfast and get ready for the two to three hours shuttle ride.

    Approaching at the starbucks counter, i picked up a packet of banana bread and a 1L Smart water with me, The water in the airport was so expensive (was $5) but that how airport works. As i pay the cashier with the amount, she said it was not enough. I then checked the price tag again and added it up and asked, "isnt it $xx?"  She said, "No, its "$xx.xx, there's tax."   There I went, Oh, tax. I never have to pay any tax in the city of where i live so this is like a shock for me and i quickly opened my coins bag and tried to work out how many cents i had to pay more.

  Having almost no idea how to distinguish each coin and its value, it took me quite a long time and i literally spread the coins on the counter and trying to count. The cashier went on taking the order from the next customer and later she said, "Don't worry about it." I looked up at her and said " sorry?" The man lining up behind me added "You don't have to pay, she'll take care of it."
Then, the cashier took her employee card and beep it on the cashier, there, i was free of paying the tax.
 
   The amount of the tax i have to pay was not a lot and in fact there is some changes in the changes box which can help me cancel out the money i have to pay. But how the cashier saw my problem of distinguishing the coins and being new to the tax system and helped me out made me feel welcomed.

  After few minutes, my shuttle driver was here and thanked god for that, then my worry was like, please don't drive me to anywhere else. Well, he didn't and a bonus, i got to enjoy my banana bread and the $5 water all to myself in the shuttle. It felt like a private shuttle ride as only 1 passenger, me , was on the shuttle all along.

Blog post will be coming up

Updates: sorry i havent been active but i promise a blog post will be coming up . thanks!

An act of LOVE

Graduation should be one of the marks or achievement of one's study journey or life. After nearly 2 decades of studying life, I graduated. Interestingly, I am not the one who see my graduation as something special, it was more like a show to put on, or another costume to get on and take some 'character photos'. Well, at least i have a gown to put on and see how i would look in it.. another play- pretend event.

  Maybe that's because I was not into the life of the program i was in in the past few college years. I was really going to school just for doing it and i could not wait to get out of it everyday so i could get on with my life. I guess the non-school part of my life is more fascinating and attracting.Let me summarize it for you, i did not feel a single bit that i belong to my core college. And I'm not surprised.

   Let me tell you in whisper, I think I have the strongest sense of belonging to the program i was in in Long Island , New York.  Oh Stony Brook, If i could wear that bright red graduation gown, I wouldn't hesitate to put it on and be a happy proud college student. Yeah, I am more attached and feel more included in that school than the one i was in for years.



  Anyways, if I were going to dig into the details, I would not be able to finish this blog without making it too long. What i want to share in this post after two months of not posting anything is that I freaking love one of the classes i was in during my study there. Like, LOVE. Yeah, I don't know how you can really love your classmates in a class when you just see them twice a week for two hours each time. It never happened before and i didn't expect it would. I think that's the magic of stage. Strangers become friends and friends become families.




  Acting, was the class' title. I was not in the first class as it was jammed at first and I luckily grabbed my spot later as someone dropped the class during the add-drop period. So there i was, in my second class. I was not expecting anything from this class during my first lesson. There i was, probably in my white Christmas sweater and winter boots, walked in a space with black bricked walls, (actually everything in black) , three tiers of auditorium chairs and a huge space in front of it.

   There was once a sweet girl whose name i could not recall now, she was being extra nice in my first acting class. You know, girls remember every compliment. We had a little get-to-know-each-other sort of ice breaker activities and i don't really remember how i teamed up with her. So after asking and answering questions, our teacher asked each team to introduce your new friend to the class. And so nicely of her of just chatting like 5 minutes to me, she was speaking oh-so wonderfully of me, not about the things i talked, but like a personality compliments. And there i was, standing there introducing her basic information that i gathered while she spoke so highly of me demeanor.  Thank you.

   During our classes, we did lots, i mean lots of crazy acting activities, if you did not know and walked past our classroom, you'd think you gone to a zoo or an asylum as we would be pretending to be different kinds of animals running around in the room. One of the exercises i remembered was somehow touching each other and we had to do something according to that, and i think that was like the first bit of our bonds to grow and ice to break among us.

 For the first assignment, we had to a scene with a partner. I got teamed up with a guy from Korea who looked much like a teddy bear in my opinion, or a koala. (Well you get the idea.) Because we both missed a class. Ha. I remember we were playing as reporters discovering something and to do that we spent time to discuss what to do. We didn't spend too much time together discussing it as he totally trusted my directions as he didn't have any acting experience but still we spent some time getting to know each other which was rare in my college life. We became closer because of this assignment and he once walked me to the mail room afar which was really nice.



  So rolling on we had our second assignment doing another scene, this time with teams of three, and in between lessons, lots of other activities that we could do together with everyone in the class. There were moments where i learned from watching and there were some nice moments which the class teacher, who liked me very much, gave me compliments and directions to become better. Sometimes, being put under the spotlight can really keep you with pressure to drive you to become better and better.

  There was a favorite activity of our class - improv. I remember how just about 15 of our students went all in for the activity. We were pretending to be driving in a car, unscripted, and let it happen. Each time a student jumps in the scene and one would go out, creating a new story. I was totally in it and had so cool chemistry with the classmates and what really satisfied me was i felt like i was really in a car with them and also i made the audience laugh. I didn't think i have the humor to do that but this class changed my perception and reminded me of what i was capable of.

  


   Our class was so fun sometimes we would hide and turn the lights off just to scare the teacher... Fun times... And the teacher also grew closer with us as she started to flaunt one day as one of the students said he liked her scarf.

 Acting 105, it is a class that I don't want to miss because of the fun and people. In our last class, we had to do our monologue as a final examination. Since i had to go early for the Jimmy Fallon Live in the city, i had to leave early. As sad as that, i didn't have a chance to say a proper goodbye. So as I walked out the classroom, to my surprise, i said loudly to the room, "I Love y'all". because that was what i felt.

  Since when do you say "I love y'all" to a class...I have to say that was one of my favourite class, or actually, a group of nice, adorable, interesting, fun people i had spent with in this short term of study life.

 There I was, a strong sense of belonging college student. even for a short glimpse of moment.

(dorm made lunch by myself)

   

Capturing Real Life Stories

  It has been a while since a new post is seen on here, almost like a delay never got noticed. Just like the train i used to hop on to the city got a new schedule on the weekend due to a renovation of a bridge. By the time our train arrived at the change station, when all passengers decided to walk over to the other train, that train was gone. So about thirty people were just lost there on the platform, got nothing to do, and surprisingly no one was complaining and just sat there to wait for the next train... only in an hour... But at least the train finally came. Like this post.

  Train rides to the city has always been an exciting one. Although it takes two freaking long hours, the excitement and anticipation back to the city is always something new, something i look forward to. Either just to sleep on, watch the clouds and houses go by or observe other passengers near me. And when the silhouette and skyline of Manhattan finally came to sight, i knew i was more than ready and instantly energized about what might happen next.

  But what about train rides back to Long Island? Usually it's me with my go-to-dinner or i'll just sleep through it as it usually gets dark and it's so cozy just to sit back and relax and let the train bring me back to my bed. Well not bed, but close.

   The train has two sides between an aisle, on the left side locates two seats and the right has three. One night after my visit to the city,i hopped on a crowded train and found myself a seat on the right. Usually people don't sit in the middle if there's just one person on the aisle, as there was a guy, probably 18 or 19 sitting on the very right of the three seated seats, i settled on the very left.

   As the train left the station, stepping its feet into the dark tunnel, i brought my camera out and started reviewing the photos i took of the day. After reviewing the photos for like 10 minutes, i placed it back to my bag. Few moments afterwards, the guy sitting on my right near the window asked, "Are you a photographer?" I looked to his direction and shook my head as i smiled No. "You seem professional." He added. So I told him i was just casually taking pictures as i like taking pictures.

  I think he then told me his name which i forgot... and i told him mine too. And i don't know how but we began chatting with each other. It was so nice to have someone to chat with during the train ride as it was such a quiet moment and you get to know about another person's story in this complete random situation. I mean it would not be random, for we are going to sit on the same place for quite some time. Usually people just smile at me but never really engage me in a full  conversation in the train ride. So i was interested in the conversation he held.

   What i learned about him was that he didn't used to live in New York but some small town in another state and was only here for a job, been here a few weeks i guess. We talked about places and attractions he needed to visit in the town as he told me it was his first time visiting the city. I told him all the places he needed to go and showed him my map in my bag. he moved to sit in the middle as we talked and we learned a little about each other  during the short time.

    Having conversations always make time goes faster. When it was his time to get off, and after that we never saw each other again nor had any contacts. Sometimes i wished i had asked for his contact not because of anything, but just to know one more person's life story.

     Taking pictures surely tells a story, but what if we can hear a real, vivid story from a person? Isn't it as interesting?

  Have you ever sparked a conversation with a total stranger? If you haven't,  you should totally try. Either just say hi or smile back, just because human connection is such an important thing in our lives and who knows we may make someone's day.

Faith in Kindness

   Central Park is like the lung of New York City. More than providing just greenery,  posh and sophisticated architectures and a true renewal spot amidst the concrete towers in Manhattan, it is cultivating millions of dynamic lives. Musicians, actors, businessmen, tourists... all gather in this space to renew and recharge. There are always a certain type of people who fascinate me here- people who work out,people who run down the trails surrounded by trees and lakes,people who bike along the road listening to the chirping of birds and the hustle of pedestrians under the glistening sunlight peeking its way through the canopy of leaves.

    To be honest, one of my checklist is to workout in Central Park. It sounds like a luxury to me, imagine just bringing keys and nothing else in your workout clothes and just running through this beautiful park and you can just head back to your apartment nearby. Well, that would not happen to me right now but at least i can figure out a part of that.

   So one day in the morning, i tied my hair up and dressed myself in my beloved broadway
camp  T-shirt in ruby and a running shorts. There i went, into the city, just for working out in central park. I grabbed myself a strawberry waffle along my way from the station to the park. My plan was simple, to run around and then hire a bike from those biking racks. (those citibikes provided by the city)

   Just when i was walking towards the entrance of the park, a young man, with a leaflet in his hand approached by my side and asked if i'd like to hire a bicycle. I glanced at the prices for a second and thought it was too expensive for an hour so i shook my head and smiled as i continued to walk along the street. And for my first plan was to run so i didn't look further. He asked where i was going, as friendly as he was, i told him i was going for a run. He then replied, why not hire a bike! Then i said, maybe later. I want to run first. As i continued to walk and with him following by my side, we encountered the traffic lights and there we stopped, waiting for the walk sign,

   As i thought he would forget about selling his business to me, he asked who i was running with, i told him it was just me. To my surprise he asked if he could run with me. Instantly, i laughed at that idea as he was still holding his price list of the renting of the bike. So i told him, "but you have to do your business." Then he said, "i could run with you and still do my business!" I obviously didn't know what else to say, it was funny and silly at the same time. And at last i said no and waved him goodbye as i crossed the road. Just when i thought it was all finished, he offered me to lend me their bicycles for free. It was very tempting but i couldn't accept it for i really wanted to run first. I smiled again and refused and at last, i went for a run.

  Let's face it, my idea of him doing all the talking was just wanting me to rent his bicycle and all he ever wanted was my money. Even when offered the bicycle for me for free, i was afraid i had to pay other sort of fees when it's all done. But when i think about it, what if he really wanted to just run with me, what if he really wanted to lend me the bike for free. that brought me back to the issue of trust. It's very hard to trust a stranger, even someone you know very well. My issue of trust was shaken when a close classmate of mine back in high school did something "betrayal" to me and most of the time, the crush i had promised me something but never kept that promise. It got the point where it was very hard to trust someone completely just by what they say. But with this, i wondered if my trust issue got to a very secured point where i could possibly turned down someone with good intention and kindness. I'd never know, but at least this young man made me reconsider my level of trust and try to open my mind to trusting people again, or at least give them a little chance to see what they could offer.

And on a final note, i did hire a bike from those bicycles racks after my glorious run across the beautiful sheep meadow, biked around central park, to Queensboro bridge and back to 34th street.

The Curious Coney Island

    Living in New York City and Long Island is a great balance for me, I am always the girl who wants to have busy lives with dynamic things going on every second but sometimes i just want to relax and breath in the fresh air from the countryside where greenery, flowers and a huge blue sky can be seen . Where you just have to interact with the animals. Ahem.

   Between these two balanced lives, there was a time i wanted more, a place where it is different from the city and the tranquil country living, a place that is more intimate, much like a small town. I did a few researches online, hoping i would get out of New York City for a trip,  I thought of going to New Jersey, which was just a train ride away from the station i usually got off to the city, and also a place i could not remember the name, 3 hours train ride away from the city. Yet, through all the considerations i have had, i put these ideas aside and decided my trip would be completed by this special spot - Coney Island.

 Oh Coney Island, the first thought or impression i had for you was based on the Phantom Of the Opera - Love Never Dies. The story of how Christine Daae got away from phantom and has been living and performing in Coney Island secretly alone was such a gripping idea for me to go visit this circus-y, mysterious place. And as i googled the site, what i felt like about this place was it was old, full of history, fantasical and strange at the same time. Well, if you didn't know already, Coney Island is basically a beach with a carnival/ roller coasters sort of attractions. Spoiler alert, there is no circus so we won't be seeing Christine Daae. What i found from the website was it was the month of the Mermaid Parade which everyone can dress as a mermaid and stride down the road if they
want. Interesting. The other thing i found was the icon which i think was a clown, grinning from ear to ear to you doesn't seem pleasing at all, in fact, was a bit eerie. There is certainly something mysterious about this place, This place is old, has been cultivating the American history and i felt I could just step right into the 1950s when i got there.

     The weather on the day i planned to go there wasn't nice at all, it was so cloudy it almost felt like it could rain any moment. So i squeezed in Finding Neverland the musical to my afternoon itinerary first and got to decide if i wanted to go to Coney Island afterwards. Part of it was because of the weather but part of it was because it felt like i was going somewhere else, somewhere out of Manhattan, having nobody knew where i was going, the idea was a bit scary for me as i totally didn't know the  place, will there be any gansters...okay. So let's talk a bit about  Finding Neverland the musical first before we moved on to Coney Island. It was completely different from what i expected, it was not a Peter Panny fantasy storyline, Matthew Morrison's attempt on British accent was not that pleasing but what i didn't expect was i shed a tear in one of the scenes as it was too touching. I thought this would be a family musical where fantasies happened, who knew it would be that touching.

  Anyways, let's get back to the main point. I plucked up my courage and bought myself a single ride ticket to Coney Island. Stepping into the unknown was always intimdating and exciting and i am so glad i took the step. The thing about METRO was really interesting, you can get to anywhere with $2.5. As far as Coney Island to as close as 3 streets away, which literally takes you 5 minutes. The price is the same. That was also why i chose to walk whenever possible like 40 streets down, no problem. i could do that, So $2.5 to Coney Island felt like i earned a lot.

   As i arrived the station of Coney Island, i followed the sign - Mermaid Ave and got out. Shops and restaurants with huge banner reminding me of the Old America greeted me as I walked out. The colors were old, rustic and very American. I felt like i was not in the modern ages anymore.





  Passing along these oldies, i found myself walking up the wooden- boarded stairs and onto the pier of Coney Island. The air of salty, beachy smell wafted into my nose. I have been watching some vlogs where people videotaped themselves on piers in Brighton Piers and that pretty much felt like Brighton Pier. With a cobbled stoned beach, the sea, a pier lined with shops, if i didn't tell you from the picture, it wasn't that much different from Brighten Pier.


    It wasn't raining when i got there. But blue sky was no where to be seen. I wonder how beautiful it would be if it was a sunny day with the sun shining brightly to the sea, casting some crystal reflections on each wave. Still, despite the weather, the voices of seagulls flying across the sky and walking on the wooden boarded pier, hoping to get some food crumbs from the people who just got the food from the shops were producing a lovely scene to this calm place. Stalls of hotdogs, bars with beautiful banners were lying along the pier, people, usually family or friends gather together to walk along the pier or to grab a drink or food, sitting down to enjoy a lazy day from the busy city.










    The walk along the pier was a relaxing moment. It really brought me back to the old days, where pastel colors, bold prints, A-line skirt, prim and proper clothes were in fashion. Like those scene from Brooklyn the movie. Though the movie version was much more intensified in these elements.

   What kind of trip would be completed in Coney Island if i didn't go into the amusement park. So i went inside, hoping to ride on a ride or two before i could catch the train back to the city. Seeing the prices on the game stalls, i wasn't sure what to do. The lowest price one has to pay was $40 and with that $40, you can play up to 6 rides in one zone only. Since the amusement park have totally like 3 zones, it felt really stupid to spend $40 in just one zone. And i didn't have time for that as well. So i walked around and found myself a less intimating roller coaster.





   I approached the staff monitoring that roller coaster/entrance and asked if i could just pay for the ride and how much it would cost for one time only. As i remembered, he was a black guy, young and with a little hair, i think he was wearing a hat too? anyways, he said, Why you just want to ride this one? So i said to him, " I'm just travelling and i will have to leave in 15 minutes but i really want to play this once before i catch the train." (Actually i didn't know why i was in such a rush to catch the 6-ish train duh. But ya that happened.) That staff looked around, seemingly looking for anyone to answer my question.  A few moment later, he said to me, "Don't worry about that", and spun the entrance for me and let me go in for free.


 That was the happiest moment of the day. HE LET ME PLAYED THE ROLLER COASTER FOR FREE. That was the most generous thing i have ever encountered and i could tell you that only happen in Coney Island. I smiled and thanked him and got on the ride which scarily there was no seat belt. So i held tight to the handles on the "horses" and as the bell rang, the "horses" were ready to dash off. It was such an amazing feeling not only i felt adrenaline running through my veins, what's more rewarding was when the "horses" got to the top, i was able to see a bird-eyed view of the pier, the shoreline and the sea. It was so peaceful. I know it's a weird word to use in riding roller coaster, but it really felt like that.

 Thank you for the staff who let me ride that roller coaster for free. The trip would not be completed with his kind act.

Have you ever encountered someone giving you a kind act? And have you ever given to the others?

 

    

The best adventure is those that are unknown

 The great adventure finds you when you least expect it. And when they knock on your door, you have to have the courage to turn the knob. Either you take it, see where it takes you, or you stay on the same ground.

    My very first official audition in New York City was a moment i have been forever waiting for for months. The whole system is a bit complicated, most of them are not cattle calls and most of them are only asking for equity members, (let's not talk about the fact that i have to get up at 5am to take the morning train to the city). so basically if you don't have the card, you cannot go. So for weeks after weeks i finally could search one that i can go which was the Mary Poppins ensemble call. Interestingly, the call was scheduled on the day after a concert i had to attend. Which means, after a night of screaming, being in the snow (with minimal clothing as i wanted to look nice in the concert, um..) and not resting. There was no way i was going to skip the concert for this call so having my fingers crossed, i screamed in a special way in the concert and braced myself in the cold, somehow being too happy and excited and not sleeping until 2am and waking up at 7 (thanks god I was staying in the hotel about only 7 streets away) and somehow, spoiler alert, i managed to do my best.

 The best wasn't at Mary Poppins though. After having bananas, bread and cereal for breakfast, i grabbed myself a blueberry muffin from the breakfast counter and headed out for the day. When it was about 9 or 10, i waited in the area where the call was held. To my surprise, there wasn't many people but just around 3 girls in their dresses and a few guys who were stretching their legs in the open space, with their dance leg muscles sticking out and toes in their pointe.. As i was sitting on the bench and casually changing my winter boots to my heels, (i swear the girls were looking at my action..) i saw an old man went towards the room and before he went inside, he spent some time with us girls. We learned about he was the producer for the show, which i learned he was only a guy providing money for all of these and had almost nothing to do with anything else and most important of all, we were told they were not seeing anyone who were not on their list until those people who were are done, and it was still their decision whether more wanted to be seen so we were told to come around at 12 to only see their decisions.

   I turned to look at the other girls, 2 of them seemed to be friends and 1 were not, four of us haven't really talked with each other until then. So when the producer was away, we had come to an agreement that it was either you can stay here or just go and how it all explained why there were only so few of us here. What was in my mind was that there was no freaking way i was going as i have waited for this since so long ago. So with my bottom stuck on the bench as hard as glue, the two girls started to get change back to their winter clothes and got up. "I like your heels,", said one of the girls. To be honest with you, i thought they hated my heels and the way i changed it. So that compliment was really out of no where and made me surprisingly happy. "Thanks", i replied. "They are so pretty, i can never wear white heels, They are so easy to get dirty." Said the girl. And there, we started a short conversation about my heels.

    Just when they were about to leave, the two girls asked me and the other girl if we wanted to go to another audition.  We were a bit skeptical about that decision but since there was nothing we could do in that few hours, after several minutes of consideration, i decided to go with them, and the other girl did too. The funny thing was that i thought the other call was only downstairs so i didn't change my shoes back. But the truth was, it was 20 streets away. So not having to wear my boots back, i stumbled my way in the open air and took the subway with the 3 girls. I hate that i am not writing their names because i totally forgot them all. How i wish i remember them...

  Having absolutely no idea what the call/show is, where is it, what do we have to do, we just followed the girl who happened to receive the information on her phone and she also had no idea what that was about. So there we were, a fearless audition squad. During the whole 'trip' to another location, we managed to learn more about each other and one just randomly sing in the subway made me feel like i was in the sound of music or something. And i liked it.

   The train ride was quick, but long enough to form a new bond among us four. We then arrived to that small rehearsal place and a relatively rustic and plain one compared to the one we were in after climbing 2 floors of wooden stairs, squeaking as we went along. At last, we found the location, a rehearsal studio with pastel green and red tone style and some simple wooden setting. We settled in a small room with about 20 other girls in their dresses and were ready for any instructions.

(sobs . memories)

   I'm not going to talk about what details happened next but i really like to mention how our little squad stuck together in the corridor while waiting to be seen, (and that time a guys randomly did a monkey climb with his legs on both walls while waiting in line) and how during the day, we bravely and stupidly went to another audition with absolutely no information nor preparation together and somehow learning more about each other's story. And how i managed to do my first NYC audition. I did not care about what the show was, i sounded cool in the room, i have my people with me and i had the best adventure ever. Although the time was short for us (OH, and the one i got close with looked like a mix of the Old Miley Cyrus and Angie Miller, and i told her about that too), they were the people who made my adventure and made me feel like i was not doing it alone. That really made my first time a special one.

  Do you have any impromptu adventures that you dont know where it would bring you?
xx


  

The art of a bookshop

 They say a good bookshop is not just about selling books from shelves, but reaching out into the world and make a difference.

    It was not until my visits to this special bookshop to fully feel what this quote truly means. Typical bookshops sell loads of things, treasure of knowledge from around the world, escape to a whimsical fantasy land, culinary recipes... So many things that makes you so hard to pinpoint one particular purpose of visiting a bookshop.

   This bookshop i made frequent trips to is not like that at all. On an open road on the 39th street and 7th, this bookshop opens its door to the road yet somehow does not seem eye catching at all is the drama book shop. Those kind of window decoration you can almost walk past without noticing it is a bookshop.

   When i first found out about this bookshop online, i can't help but let out a sigh of wonder of how amazing this shop must be for it sells any performing arts related books, from every play and musical script, sheet music of everything you can name of, self-help book, monologue book, films and fashion books and magazines, it basically is a world of wonder to every performing artist. If you had tried finding sheet music and monologue online, you would know what i mean.

    My hand pulled opened the glass door framed with black metals and it swung opened. I was instantly greeted by the warmth of this little place and a welcoming voice saying hello at the back of the shop. The shop was lighted with some warm yellow light and decorated like a little cozy home you can drop by any minute of the day, in the early morning after your first coffee warming your hands through your gloves or after you had an intense dance class in the evening. Wooden shelves at both sides of the walls and the middle were filled with colorful books in different genre, movie, dance, fashion, plays, musicals all in a decent line filling the whole shop. It almost felt like you had different classes to pick in just one little place. The floorboard was in an irregular shape of earth-tone colors with combination of peach sorbet, oat, beige, sage and deep brown.

  I couldn't help but rush to the musical session. To see so many scripts in front of my own eyes on a shelve a feet taller than i am was wonderful. Though i did not buy or spend time reading any of the full-length script, flipping through the pages was a special feeling. Almost felt like i had access to anything i want to find and know.

   To my surprise, the section i spent most time in the bookshop was the monologue and play section. I bought myself two monologue books in different times and you might have imagined i did "talk to myself" in my own room while reading out the monologues and every time i tried to speak like as if i was having a conversation on my phone to make it sound less awkward. ya, having a break-up, quitting my job, talking about life seem totally normal on a phone conversation... Since they say you can't really pick monologues from a monologue book, i also spent some time to read some short plays. Every new play was published without a beautiful cover but a simple formatted typical script book, just in different color. That was the time i really did not judge the book by its cover but to see its title and synopsis at the back cover to see if i was interested to read more. If i had found one or two or three that i like, i would pick them to sit at the table in one of the corner of the shop and let the play unfold to me, imaging actors playing on the stage or zooming them in like a movie lense in this little space.

 I like this bookshop so much because it almost feels like a community. Every one in this bookshop is doing something, are here for a reason. It was so cozy you can pick up a conversation at the table discussing the plays the others are reading. One time i also have heard two people doing a reading off a play at the table. That was a community. A place to gather all the like-minded and a place to offer materials for one to learn and grow.

 
After my first visit at the bookshop, i took out my camera and snapped a few shots of the front of the bookshop, i felt like it would fit so nice on a blog. If only i had one back then. While i was snapping a few pictures in different angels, a woman in a coat with curly hair reaching her shoulders, looking like in her 40s came to me and asked what i was doing and if the pictures were for a blog. I lowered my camera and turned to look at her in my smile and said no. And in my mind i was thinking a lot of things, does she has a blog? would she like my pictures? i would like a blog that have readers to read my reviews, why is she asking? who is she? To snap me out from questions, she then invited me if i would like to go inside the bookshop, as i have just spent some time in the shop and have just walked out, i said thank you to her and she walked inside with the tinkling sound of the bells of the door behind her. Gracefully and quietly, she began her little journey in the shop. It was not until minutes later i realized i should have gone in with her, not for the bookshop again, but know a little more story about her and what she was  doing in the shop.

  "Is it for a blog?" little did i know it is now and the woman is having a featured on it too. I like this bookshop just the way it is, small and cozy yet so big in its collection, reaching out to every visitor to provide the materials and inspiration they need, a small community and maybe some encounter of a real life story that could inspire you.

How we see the world

 It has been such a long time for a post to emerge on this blog. Just like the long-awaiting anticipation for spring to finally crawl her feet into winter, when signs of leaves start to emerge from their bulbs, showing their little green heads on barren trees, when flowers begin to blossom in the cold, bringing in colors of hope and enlightenment. Spring to me has never been that exciting until now, specially when it can bring a little more energy and life to a white washed winter wonderland. I have been waiting for spring, that color, that energy since forever like you may have waited for this blogpost. or not...
 
   Speaking about the anticipation of spring, allow me to insert a little story here. I still remember how during a walk with a classmate to the mailroom after the acting class, we had to cross a parking lot area where the trees were still barren and only a few branches had signs of green bulbs. He was speaking something about spring break and said, "Everybody's going away, it's so dead here".Part of me understand what he means as it is the most isolated area yet you can call it a paradise in other way and everyone's dying to get away to have some fun. But i had to stand a different viewpoint from what he had said, simply because life is so much more than what you see, the trees, which little pieces of green leaves had been growing from the trees and every grass and every creatures running across the field has a life. Spring is coming, it's emerging, it has a life. Here i have to quote the lyrics from a song - colors of the wind:

   The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
   But i know every rock and tree and creature
   has a life , has a spirit , has a name 

  The point is, i have never truly loved spring until the spring in New York. Spring is so special here. with its huge contrast to winter and most importantly, my favorite part, every corner, every street is filled with flowers of different kind, tulips of different color, one of my favorites, daffodils, purple pansies... the city has never failed to amaze me how beautiful spring is, sometimes all you need is to stroll down the sidewalk and feel how much this city has offered you about the beauty of spring.

   One of the amazing flowers in spring has to be cherry blossoms. I have never seen so many pink flowers growing on a tree, let alone a line of them. Ah.. dont you love spring like that? From all white and barren to the color of the rainbow. Nature is such a beauty.

   So one day i decided to take a trip to downtown Manhattan, or you may call it the financial area where lies the Brooklyn bridge, the memorial, wall street etc.

    That sounded quite irrelevant but since the city basically plant everything in everywhere, of course cherry blossoms can also be seen in downtown as well.

    The day was bright and clear, Clear blue sky with some patches of clouds as soft as marshmallows filled the sky as quite and serene just like the mobile toys hanging above a baby's crib. When i was strolling around the financial area, not only was i able to see the skyscrapers, monuments but also all the flowers! I'm that kind of person who would spend 20 minutes to stay in the area of where it has planted flowers. Because tulips. my love.





 Moving on my trip, i stopped my pace in a small park, probably it was the city hall park, surrounded by some beautiful monuments,statues and pink cherry blossoms! It was so beautiful i had to linger around to take pictures for the next 30 minutes. During my shots, a lady with her sunglasses walked towards me and said, "can you help us to take some pictures? you look like you know what you are doing" Having heard that, i was more than pleased to help them because a) why not and b) someone is appreciating my photography skill. even just from the look of it. So after i took a few shots of them i asked if they liked them, they said yes and very unusually it was me who said thank you the first as i felt like oh my god you liked my photography (Even though she probably doesnt mean like that) She might not have seen it that way but me knowing her like the photos made me happy and i said it was also to thank her for believing me that i knew what i was doing with my camera. Plus the fact she did not go around to ask somebody to take the pictures for them again also made me content.

 

  Pictures are a way to show how you see the world, sometimes i want my photos to be taken like a certain way and i asked people to help and the result was different, to be honest, i was quite frustrated. Knowing not everyone would be interested in the art of photography, but rather just capturing people standing in front of something, it's okay. But sometimes i just wish more people would see every picture every frame as a form of art, not just a statement of who has been to where. And sometimes include a little bit of grass and flower in the frame because they also have a life. Appreciate every tree and every creature. And sometimes just communicate more to people around you, because if pictures cant speak for you, speak with others, appreciate what they are doing, even you don't really mean it, it can make a person's day. Because it did to me.



 

 

The Luckiest City of All

   Singers, actress and different types of role models have played such a big role in my life. There wasn't a day i could go by without knowing about their lives. In my point of view, I don't consider myself a fan girl, instead, i really love what they do by who they are and how they stay true to themselves, how they work hard and inspire others, which includes me. I appreciate them, themselves as a person, the personality and their talents and work as such having impacts on my life, as an inspiration. I would like to see them in person, to thank them and simply telling them how much love i have for them.

  As you can imagine, being in a city of actors and actresses means hundreds of opportunities to meet your favorites. As simple as waiting at the stage doors of every Broadway shows or if you were that lucky, (which never happened to me) bumping celebrities on the street. The thought i had was like: I can actually meet .... or ... for they are in town doing things or performing in a play. It was more like a matter of choice whether you would like see them or not. And yes, one time i chose to chill in Central park over meeting Carey Mulligan...You just have to go and wait. And then Voila, list checked.

  So when Ariana came to town, the very first time, in February of 2015, basically she sneaked into the city like a breeze of wind, You'll only know when she arrives at the apartment she's staying in when she talks about it. And that time i was also staying in the city in a hotel about 10 streets away from where she lives for 4 days. But that was also my very first time to stay late in the city, aka. first time seeing a dark New York which was scary enough and it was ice cold. I didn't want to risk the chance of catching a cold for the next day i had to audition for a panel of industry guests including casting directors, directors and agents. And that was also the night i found out she had met the fans under her apartment... No regret. Priority indeed.

 So when the tour started in March, i knew she would come again and stay in the apartment of her brother's, so i spent the day after i attended the tour and i guess several hours of the next 2 days waiting under her apartment, hoping to get a chance to have a more intimate meet and greet experience and take more pictures. It was all fun and game and excitement for the first 2 hours for you got to meet other fans as well and they were mostly very nice and there were some really funny moments we got to involve in.


   Like one time, the security guards asked us, which was always 10-20 people to wait behind the barricade they just carried out of nowhere. So we all stood in the middle of the street behind the barricade they put, And it was like a moment of Les Miserables. Funny enough, Les miserables was also playing several streets away...Also, when we were standing so interestingly on the street, usually people would walk by and look at us and sometime people would ask us what we were doing. Since most of us do not want to give away the information, some other fans would say: We're waiting for church camp. And there you go, people would just be like Ahhs and Ohhs and walked away.

 There was a girl i met during the wait. She had all her hair braided in a ponytail, a Starbucks coffee in her hand. She told me she had been there for 8 times and hasn't met her once. And how i wish she would eventually because that was a lot of time she sacrificed. How i wish we all could.

  So hours and hours and days and days went by, to pass the time, most of us would go to the Starbucks just next door or to the cafe on the other side of the street to get Wifi and some food. So one day when i was in the cafe, i ordered a cupcake and grabbed myself a seat facing the window facing the building. Just like a detective, spotting any sudden move of crowd. It almost felt like i was a cop in a movie, waiting for a suspect to appear, and when she appeared, I would drop anything i was eating and rushed out like it was a matter of life or death. And one day, a staff, a guy wearing glasses who looked like he was French or like a version of Ryan Gosling in his glasses came to me from behind and said, "Has she come out yet?"

   And the thought i had was : "Oh my goodness, he knows about everything and he remembers me." Because who would come here on consecutive days buying veggie pizzas and cupcakes and sit for hours and he could absolutely see me waiting across the street from the store. So i replied, "No, not yet. Just saw her brother and the crew. and the dogs..." And then I started to ask him if he had seen anyone. He then told me he had seen several stars from that building whose names i cannot recall now. Little did i know so many renowned people live in that building.

So days and days passed and i could not wait longer, or put it this way, she had left at last and decided not to do a garage meet and greet this time. (Or actually till now what i know is that she seemed like she had stop doing that) . Yet, i feel like this whole waiting game was a very special experience for you get to meet and chat with other people who are doing the same crazy thing with you and knowing a random cafe staff would come up to chitchat with you and helped you kill some time was amazing. It felt like i have known about more lives and the stories of them. Yes, the time i spent was a bit long, like 10+ hours overall, still, i think i got to experience something i never thought to experience. And hey, i have met Frankie and the crew and the dogs...

This city is lucky to be filled with so many passionate, friendly people who gets so much stories to tell and share.
 
  

What's truly feeding us

About a year ago, i became obsessed with supermarkets and grocery shopping. While actually buying things seems like a wallet emptying experience, walking through them is another thing. There is something exciting and calming whenever you see something new, something interesting and something you really love to eat.

  During my weekly grocery shopping experience in New York, i changed my route from Walmart/Target/Stop and Shop to Trader's Joe/Wholefoods and Target remained. There was a change due to a change in schedule and how i found Walmart and Target aren't cheap at all compared to how they have always  appeared to me. 

 Due to my hectic schedule, (but i really liked it). i had to shop on Mondays in the city or sometimes if i were free to go to the mall nearby on Saturday to Whole Foods to stack up all the fresh ingredients for probably every single meal of the week. And let's not forget about home necessities like toiletries and other boring stuff that consume lots of space in the shopping bag. 

  The supermarket i go to in the city is the Trader Joe's that fit just into my route of doing things in the city on Monday afternoons, Normally i would be there at around 5-ish and be ready to stack it up. One thing i really liked going there was basically about its price. There are no supermarkets offering a wide range of fresh ingredients with a cheaper price than Trader's Joe and its quality is also so good that is almost comparable to those of Whole Foods. And for one example, the 29 cents banana. I love bananas, i could be those people who eats banana everyday and still be bananas about it. So Trader Joe's basically is a money saver for i could save more than half of the money of the same stuff i buy when compared to that in Walmart or Target.

  The Trader Joe's i normally go to is the one that sit by the 72 st, Broadway overlooking a subway station which its entrance and exterior looks a lot like the facade of a little house of market or a church and at the back, just one street behind stood the grand and majestic building called the Ansonia (which i found out the name 6 months later) which almost made you feel like you have suddenly arrived on the middle of the streets in Paris because of its style of architecture that features some Parisian-like balconies at each window.

  As you can imagine, the journey of walking down to the supermarket was spectacular. But what's more impressive is the experience i had when shopping at Trader Joe's, right there at the cashiers.

  After filling in my trolley with cabbages, kale, apples, and yes, bananas and all other types of groceries and necessities, sometimes i would grab myself a pot of flower just to travel with 2 bags of grocery with a stalk of flower sticking out on my 2 hour train ride, which seems perfectly normal... I would line up with other fancy women to get to the cashiers. As 5 p.m is more like an off-work hour so sometimes people would just grab their trolley or basket and line up straight away to pick up food on their way to the cashier. I did not choose to do that, i just simply added on the step of grabbing more things during my queue to the cashier. 

  

Surrounded by the colorful walls of hand drawn painting featuring the drawings of the Upper West Side stood about 20 cashier stands. Each one positioned a staff, wearing the Hawaiian print staff shirt who would greet you with their greatest smile. It not only happened once, but at least three times that i love to go to that store because of the friendliness of the cashiers that i started to wonder if it was written in the staff rules.

  While i was laying the goods on the tiny little cashier table, one time, i remember how a female cashier just started a short but very good conversation. While the other supermarkets' staff usually finish off the whole buying process with phrases like ,"Hey, how are you", "That's _____ dollars", "Debit or Credit" "Have a nice day", the cashiers here were so different and made me feel like i had known them forever and could casually grab a drink with them afterwards. The female cashier began asking what i did just before i came here, asking where i study, what productions i had been in and in turn i asked her if she knew another language and visited another places in the world. That short moment alone really made my day because it turned something ordinary, like paying, into a close human interaction that made you feel like you are a part of the community, that people's experience are intertwining with each other and these kind of conversations made you learn about a new person and other things as well. Like you were reading a brand new story of a person. 

 Like i said, it not only happened once, it happened almost every time i go into the supermarket. Another time i remember is when a male cashier pointed at the corns in my trolley and he went : " Oh there are corns now?" I replied yes (because yes.. the store has it now?) And he went on saying how summer has come early and if they skipped spring. Just like that, i didn't know corns were in great supply in the summer but not winter until he spoke about that. Another lesson learn, checked. More than that, another small talk about which weather he and I like best also went on just at the cashier.

Just like that, I think its not about how beautiful one store is decorated, of course it can't be to shabby, and its a bonus if it's pretty...but the truthful human interaction and conversation you have with each other that can transform something ordinary into something more. Whether it was the rule of Trader Joe's that you have to strike up a marvelous conversation with each customer or it's just in them, i feel like these people are the food source of our souls and every week i would love to go there again to learn a different story, to meet these wonderful and nice people and to fill each other's soul with love and energy. 

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(the last 2 photos above were taken from the web)